When I signed into blogger, I fully intended to write about how much I loved Benjamin Button - basically to tack on to Chance's short blog last night. And...it really was the best movie I've seen in a very very very long time. But...then I got the air knocked out of me.
Not literally. Figuratively, of course. I just realized today was John's birthday. And...well...that just kinda brought me back to last year, just a few days after Christmas, when I found out John Schuessler wasn't with us any more. There's honestly not much I can say in this blog about it - I'm having trouble verbalizing my thoughts. It's been great to watch Laura come so far through the year, and it's been amazing to see how many people still love him and miss him, and how many lives he affected during his 22 years. It's just sad that he didn't make it to 23. I'm glad he's with the Lord right now, but selfishly, I want to call him and tell him happy birthday. I didn't last year - and I regret that. I messaged him on facebook...but does that count?
Maybe I need to take this into consideration. I've been so bogged down lately with the stress of work and the holidays...it's been hard to balance time with people vs. time getting things done. I keep putting 'hanging out' off until after the holidays. But will it be too late then?
Ugg. Like I said, I can't verbalize. I can't finish this. There's no conclusion, no real 'point' to the blog. Just, needed to say SOMETHING. I miss you, Schuess. Life is precious.
at 3:36am on May 14th, 2005
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